It Has Been Decided

So a show has been decided on.  I'll be stepping on stage for my first ever figure competition in June at the Dallas Europa Expo.

Within this last week, my coach has gotten me a suit fitting scheduled, set up a posing seminar and has started preparing me for what's to come.  One thing we've learned is that I need to learn to walk in 5" heels.

I may in fact die.  To give you a visual in your own head of what I look like while walking in these bad boys;  I look like a baby deer taking it's first Bambi steps.

I had to go to an adult boutique store located smack dab in the middle of a shopping center, surrounded by 4 family oriented restaurants, to get these suckers.

My prep will start at 16 weeks out, making February 27th my last day of freedom.

Training has already started to change and become more specific with the intensity being notched up a bit.  The goal right now is to build more muscle while maintaining lean muscle mass...and learning to walk in a straight line with my stipper heels on while maintaining a smile on my face.

I will trust the process, as it's gotten me this far.

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Time To Make Some Decisions

So this weekend was going to be a weekend of education for me.  There was a gym located in Plano, that is hosting an NPC workshop on Saturday, which will cover so much information I feel like I need!  Everything from training, choosing the right suit, meal prep and posing for your class.  Sunday, I was planning on heading over to South Lake for a two-hour private posing session.  This weekend was just going to start this year and my goals off in the right direction with so much momentum.  However, West Texas ended up getting completely frozen over.  Of course it did.  Not snowman building kind of cold, just ice.  Thanks Elsa.  :(  The roads are horrible.  People up North are probably doing the belly grabbing, laughing with tears in their eyes at this.  I can already see the comments... "girl, you don't know icy roads".  You're absolutely right.  That's why I'm not driving on them.

Anyway, so about a week ago, I was texting my coach about this awesome trip (insert grumpy cat face here), and she had mentioned that she wasn't sure which class she wanted me competing in.  I didn't really ask anything about it.  I guess I figured "Maybe I'm too small for figure?  I'm not developing enough muscle mass  to be in the Figure category - she must be deciding on bikini or figure."  I'm not going to lie, I was a little bummed.  I know it's not for everybody, but I love the bigger muscles.  Not the super over the top build (body building), but the ones that have retained their feminine physique.  In fact, I follow a lot of Nicole Wilkins (figure competitor) and Dana Linn Bailey's (physique competitor) social media accounts just because I'm so eager to learn what they do!

          

For a visual reference, here we have Nicole Wilkins on the left and Dana Linn Bailey on the right.  Can you see the difference in muscle mass?

So anyway, my coach and I were discussing the poor weather conditions and deciding on what our options were for traveling, when I asked her what she meant by 'she was undecided' regarding my class.  I asked if she was referring to bikini or figure, and she lol'd (because we were texting) and said she was thinking figure or physique!  My jaw physically dropped when I read that!  I'm just so shocked.  I just never really figured I'd have the type of frame to do physique.  Don't get me wrong, I love both categories, but in physique they do a routine, and I'm really not the most coordinated person.  Like I'm fully capable of rolling my ankle standing completely still.

So what's the point of this post?  There's not one really.  I guess I've had all day to really absorb what my coach has told me, and I'm still in shock.  We may be meeting on Sunday for a small posing class, so maybe we'll figure out the plan then.  Either way, I need a goal.  We need to decide on a show and a category.  There's a 16 week prep in my future.

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The Weight of My First Post

It has taken me a little over a week to write my first post. I was waiting for something worth writing about. Well, I feel like I've found that this week.

2 months ago, I decided to hire a fitness coach. I've been lifting and doing cardio pretty consistently since February of this year. From February to the end of September, I had dropped from around 135lbs to about 125lbs. From a tight size 6 to a comfortable size 4. Most would laugh at this. "Why is she complaining about this?! I would love to be at that weight/size!" I'm 5'1", or 5'1 1/2" on a good day, so to have the athletic physique that I want, I need to be under or around 120lbs with lean muscle mass.

Since hiring my coach, I am now weighing around 120lbs and my pants look like I've taken a crap in them, leaving me with a baggy booty problem, and that's first thing in the morning! I've avoided buying new work pants, because, well, I'd rather spend money on cute workout clothes and finding pants that would fit my legs AND my waist is about as frustrating as bra shopping. However, this weekend we happened to be in Orlando and I found an outlet strip. I bit the bullet and finally bought a few pairs. This is the part I'm still freaking out about... I first grabbed a size 4, thinking "This is a different brand and I'm shopping in the petites, so maybe they run smaller". I was able to ball up my fist and put my entire fist in the space between my waist and the fabric! I then went for the size 2. When they were on, no fist action happened, but they were pretty baggy and I knew they would be falling off on their own by the end of the day. I went and grabbed a size 0. At this point, I'm starting to freak out. There's no excitement happening really, just freaking out/anxiety happening. What happened? They fit. I haven't been a size 0 in over 13 years! And back then, I wasn't lifting the weight I am now or eating the amount I'm eating now, I was just not eating anything at all really.

So here's the disheartening part. When I returned to the hotel from shopping, I happened to glance at a mirror that was set in the entry way. My thought? I looked fat. In that moment I stopped and mentally scolded myself. I just bought pants in a size 0, something I never really thought I would do during my adult life, how in the world could I think I am fat?! I guess this is where I have found my knew lesson. Self love, respect and conquering body image issues. I need to find a place that is healthy mentally and learn to love my body and all the hard work I've put into it. The road I'm on now is going to be an experience of it's own. One that will be filled with critics and I need to know how to appreciate and love myself before I allow anyone to try and break me down.

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